Surprise-- Your name is Reese Barlow!!

The sixteenth of August very likely isn't your actual birthday, or even your "re-birthday," the day when you died and were reborn as a vampire. You've been un-dead and isolated from most civilization for centuries, so hopefully our readers can forgive your lack of precise memory. You're pretty sure you never had a great memory, anyways.

However, it does personally frustrate you a little bit that you can't remember ever telling your friend here this date was your birthday, or why you would choose that specific date for your fake-birthday. Furthermore, you can't very well ask him to remind you why you have this birthday... that might be a little suspicious of your inhuman nature. You spend quite a bit of time pretending to be a full-blooded human online, and although he is a dear friend, you haven't told him about your true nature. You can be incredibly close to somebody and still have major secrets, right? Of course you can.

Anyways...you live alone on a little houseboat in the middle of an unspecified ocean. It's a pretty safe place for a vampire to take up a permanent shelter, if you do say so. Up until relatively recently, when you got your laptop and satellite internet service, the only friends you had where the stars in the sky. You learned all their names, paths, and stories... and would talk to them with the charming delight of an absolute mad-man.

Some of your new online friends found the company you kept with the stellar bodies "whimsical and adorable" while some of them found it "deeply concerning and kind-of sad." All you know is, the stars have guided you for a very long time in every sense of the word, and sometimes they still feel like the only friends you can be completely yourself with... whoever that is.

When you're online, you'll use the handle starlitSailboat. Now, it's about time to stop this monologue and reply!


BANANASPLIT

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